Ernest Domingo Marquez

Ernie Marquez, 86, Passes After a Long Battle with Alzheimer's… and an Even Longer Battle with Puns

Ernie Marquez, of Montgomery Village, MD (via Tranquility, CA; Hershey, PA; and Melrose, MA), has left us at age 86 following a valiant, yet pun-filled, battle with Alzheimer's disease—but he wouldn’t know it because you know, he had Alzheimer’s. He is survived by his devoted wife of 50 years, Antoinette Marquez, their three children—Melissa Marquez, Vicky Bonasera (Andy), and Gabe Marquez (Brooke)—and six grandchildren: Jessica, Amanda, Sebastian, Ellie, Devin, and Olivia. He leaves behind a legacy of humor, wisdom, and more puns than we care to admit.

Ernie was born in California, the 10th and youngest child of Pedro and Jeronima Marquez, and grew up in the rural town of Tranquility (though Ernie was never quite that tranquil—his mother called him Escandaloso). As a child, he spoke only Spanish, then picked up an “Okie” accent, and eventually learned English (though he didn’t share this linguistic prowess with his kids, leaving them to fend for themselves in high school Spanish—thanks, dad). As a kid, his creativity knew no bounds. In a time when TV was but a glint in humanity’s eye, Ernie and his pals built fighter planes out of anything they could find—discarded toys, scraps, and grasshoppers. Yes, grasshoppers. These “brave pilots”, already equipped with their own goggles, antennae, and brown-tobacco-like saliva, were provided bandanas. Reckless, tobacco-chewing grasshopper fighter pilots? A true visionary.

His mantra in life was simple: “Participate and Have Fun!” And let’s just say, Ernie took that advice to heart. During his college days at California State University, Fresno, Ernie found himself living in an animal hospital—because why not? In exchange for free lodging, he learned the fine arts of spaying cats, cleaning wounds, and other vet skills. Just ask Toni, his wife, who appreciated his vet skills when they ended up with three cats of their own (“We had three cats and spaying was expensive!”). Meanwhile, Ernie also became a proud member of Delta Sigma Phi fraternity, where Friday nights were all about “bachelor debauchery”—guitar and piano playing, and dancing. Saturday nights, however, were reserved for the local sorority ladies who were very polite and elegant. These were very sophisticated events—at least, that’s how Ernie remembered them. After the evening, everyone went home promptly before midnight… Because nothing says “sophisticated” and “wild and crazy night” like a punctual curfew.

After college, Ernie spent four years in the U.S. Navy, traveling to Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Japan, before earning a Master’s and Ph.D. in Microbiology. But let’s not forget his interior design skills. Ernie was a man who bought a surfboard and later repurposed it as a table. Practicality? We think so. His next stop was Hershey, PA, where he became an Associate Professor at Penn State College of Medicine. This being the 70s, he was one of only two Mexicans in the town, the other becoming his lifelong friend Milton Hernandez. I think we can credit them for introducing the Penna Dutch to refried beans and tortillas.

But it wasn’t until Ernie met Toni in a boutique called The Plum that things truly clicked. You see, Toni was married at the time, but when Ernie learned she was getting a divorce (we're not saying it was destiny, but...), he took action. Ernie, being Ernie, had already planned a small party for later that week and thought, “Well, why not invite her?” Sure enough, she came. Hollywood couldn’t have written a better meet-cute. Their first date was to see Blazing Saddles (which is, admittedly, the best first-date movie to determine whether you two are compatible), and six months later, they were married. You could say they were a match made in pun-heaven.

During their marriage, Ernie ran 13 marathons, worked at the NIH for 20 years, spent six years with SACNAS (the Society for the Advancement of Chicanos and Native Americans in Science), and was an Associate Professor at Johns Hopkins University. But beyond his many academic and professional accomplishments, all of that is secondary to his other interests, including his passion for listening to good music (Little Richard, Doobie Brothers, Tina Turner, mariachi music, and so on), and his tireless devotion to puns. Vicky and Gabe are proud punsters and entertained him with a continuous stream of wordplay, up until the very end. After all, who else could say things like “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down” with a straight face?

Ernie’s love of life extended beyond the academic, the professional, and the pun-ny. He loved to entertain and was proud of his sound system, which for most of his life included five feet tall speakers, that his mother-in-law, upon seeing them for the first time asked if she should bow down to them. We hope you’ve had the pleasure of attending one of his impromptu living-room concerts; watching Star Wars or Top Gun, feeling like you’re on the naval base with Tom Cruise.

Everyone who remembers him is asked to celebrate Ernie’s life by telling a bad pun. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Alzheimer’s Association at ALZ.org.